So now you're an Xtian. But will you be knock knock knocking on Heaven's door or bing-bong ringing on Hell's bells? And where in hell's tooths are these places anyway? While one ex Go-Go getter called Belinda still maintains that Heaven is a place on earth, somewhere near Carlisle, in fact it is not - it is up in the sky, but what does it look like? Imagine if you can a place where everything's really, really nice, like Brighton. Are you imaging it? Well that's what Heaven is like, but even nicer.

Hell on the other hand is where bats comes out from really fast. But how did they get there? "You go to Hell in a handcart," some say, which is a kind of wheelbarrow for sinners, pushed by the pope. Pack light if you are going, because Hell can be hot, which is why it's sometimes called Hell's kitchen. Don't confuse it with other famous kitchens (e.g. Jamie's or Martika's) - it's more nastier than theirs. For example the oven is made from real smeg, and the bin smells just evil.

Next: EASTER