SUNDAY SCHOOL
You can assume there will be some colouring
in. Mon 10am
They
Secombe here, they Secombe there
People look for Sir Harry Secombe here,
they look for him there. They should just
look in the cemetary, he's dead now.
CAROL SERVICE
A festive sing-song in Beak Street, Soho!
You can assume it will be cold. Dec 23rd at
7pm
Some Holy Announcements
The annual fete
at the Church of the Assumption
kicks off this Saturday and is
open to all comers. You can assume
there will be cakes.
Would you
Adam and Eve it?
menthol cigarettes
can make you omnipotent
GOD
Real
or imaginary? You
decide.
Come to Mecca bingo*,
where we call the balls 5 times a day.
This Saturday's guest bingo caller will
be CAT STEVENS, whose mourning has broken
for his cat, Steven, hence this welcome
return to our hallowed hall. Halal-elujah!
OUR
UNIQUE BINGO CALLS…
Number 1 - The prophet Mohammed
Number 2 - Hand of Abu Hamza
Number 11 - Arms of Ali Abbas
Number 44 - Holy war
Number 88 - Two Fatwah ladies WIN UP TO £1000 FOR
A FULL MOSQUE
*Intoxicants and
games of chance are an uncleanness,
the Shaitan's work. Conditions apply.
