Oh I do like to be beside the
suicide. As yet
another TV celebrity ‘falls’ out of
her windows, Lucas Snout asks but why…
The hot shock, “was she
pushed?” death plunge of former Holby City
nurse actress turned pavement mess Laura “Wheee!
Splat” Sadler is of course a terrible tragedy,
no doubt about that.
But it is also a statistic,
and a statistic that’s growing big, growing
fast and very much growing out of all control.
The second she hit that big
hard West London tarmac with her soft small head
Laura became just the latest in a series of TV
celebrities to have died from falling out of a
window. She joins a long list that includes Rod
Hull, Floella Benjamin, Emu, David Dempsey and
now that girl from Holby City, Laura Sadler. And
with these kinds of numbers can it really be
just a coincidence? I doubt it.
I called in special X-rated
American investigator David Duchovny to look into
things, with a torch, a concerned look on his
face and a hard hat (just in case). Here’s
what he said:
“It’s a mystery,
that’s for sure. It seems that windows are
inherently easy to fall out of, especially when
they’re open and a person is close to them.
But lab tests showed that these celebrities were
all steady on their feet, which brings me onto
the gruesome question of whether they were pushed.
And if they were pushed were they all pushed by
the same person?”
At Idiotica Towers we think
the answer is “Yes David, they were all
pushed and they were all pushed by the same person.”
It’s a well-known fact here in the UK that
top dangerous hard rocker Daniel Beddingfield
loves nothing better than throwing TV sets out
of hotel windows. And now it seems in a bid to
be even more rock’n’roll he has been
throwing TV personalities out of windows instead.
So that's that solved then.
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