Countdown nights.
"I'll have
one up your bottom and a look down your top, please
Anne." Words that you can all expect to hear
spoken through your tellies soon and ruining your
teatimes every day later this year if C4 bosses
get their ways, I don't mind telling you.
For Britain's rudest SEXport,
Anne Robinson, has just gone one ruder tarting
it to the maXXX of rude in a pilot of a new TV
show some Mary Whitehouses are already calling
"a bit too rude".
The new format (working title
Countdown Nights) is rumoured to include
explicit word-dildos, a celebrity dictionary PORN-er
and barely legal XXX-rated mathematical action.
"And that's just for starters," said
one C4 insider.
Robinson, who appears naked
in the new show and in a number of raunchy outfits
including her "birthday suit", is said
to have accepted £1bn per nipple per second
squared to present the show. That's £5.2
billion per pixel on a 21-inch widescreen telly
if you measure it from corner to corner and include
the ravioli (flat discy bit) as part of the nipple.
I went out onto the streets
to do a voxpop and find out what people on the
streets think about it by stopping them and asking.
One licence-payer rapped TV bosses:
"I can't think how
it fits that she'd sink so low as to show her
wrinkly pink bits on TV for pervy gits to get
their kinky hits - it stinks after the success
of her UK and US Weakest Links, whatever you think
about her cheeky winks."
Rocky says:
Are YOU ready for Countdown Nights? See my
checklist fuckbox to make sure. |
