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Fee, fie, foe,
THUMBS. What's
it that sets us apart from the animals
then? Ask anyone this and you'll likely
get my next sentence coming out of
their mouths: the English language,
trousers, and opposable thumbs.
"Thumbs maketh the man",
as Darwin is said to have said, so
I read in bed. But enough of history.
That's in the past. New science says
thumbs are still evolving today. So
what's next then, tomorrow?
I met some sciencists
in Salisbury on a 'plane, and they
tell me the next phase of human evolution
is probably already underway - in
the form of disposable thumbs.
That's right.
THUMBS.
We use them for everything these days.
From opening jars to drawing pins,
and we come to wonder how we ever
managed without them, a bit like hats.
Stands to reason - where might civilisation
be today without the opposable thumbs
of yesterday? Would it be 'fingering'
a lift home on the side of the M11?
Or back at the drawing board, fumbling
like a boy with its pencil?
But imagine having
more than two thumbs. Go on, close
your eyes and pretend. Then open them
again and look around you. Bright,
isn't it?
YES. For
Britain's brightest sparks are hiding
a secret - behind their big clever
bookshelves and under their canvases
and inside their pianos lies the secret
of spare thumbs. The Salisbury
science team has got photographic
evidence of the country's geniuses
- including some famous ones - detaching,
disposing of and replacing their thumbs
at will - with new ones.
Stephen
Hawking, Will Self, Clive
Andersen and other clever famous
types have all got these disposable
big fingers, according to the new
biologologists. I saw one tape with
Stephen Fry in it popping his
thumbs in the fridge to cool overnight.
In another, Vorderman has been
caught with a stock of multi-coloured
thumbs in her pencil case.
What the use of
application for these chuck-awayable
digits will prove to be remains to
be seen to happen. Hawking has admitted
it has made no difference to his life
(at least I think that's what he said
- could have been "wife").
But one thing's for certain: fee,
fie, fo, thumb - it's one giant
leap for handkind, with as
yet untold knock-on domino effects
for our glove-making, and love-making,
and probably even our dove-making
future.
That's all I'm
saying. |
