Clocking off: one of Tok's duff dog-faced watches.   Story by: Dr Joshua Fox, who collects and restores antique clocks, delivers another tick-tock exclusive.

Consumers warned of dog watch batch botch.

Wristwatch watchdog Oflock has been dogged with "off" dog watch complaints this week, with the sale of over a squillion faulty dog-themed children's watches, which have been going off due to a clog in the cogs.

"The watchword is caution, and the word on the street is you'd be dog-gone crazy to buy one of these darned dog watch things," said Ofclock chairman Carl Spring. "If it's got a Snoopy dog on it, watch out, that's my advice," Spring went on to say. "It'll go off."

Fido Tok, president of the Japanese company that manufactures these canine-faced arm-clocks, is in the doghouse. Some are calling it the worst low-brow mockery of bow-wow clockery the dog-watch world has ever known.

Here at Idiotica, forever beating our rivals to the scene of clock news, we have learned that Tok is now thinking of docking the pay of staff at his factory after the shocking lack of tocking from these watches that all the shops are now stocking.

"It's a disater," commented Tok. "We haven't had a problem on this scale since 1996, when we launched our range of self-cleaning cuckoo clocks," he said. "Which are still going cheap."

Fox out.