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Whale meat again?
Enviromentalists have
been shunned by the very beasts they're
trying to help, it seems, of late, to have
happened recently with the case of some
rather ungrateful grumpy beached-up great
white whales.
The Cornish coast, just
between the bottom of Britain and the edge
of the sea has been invaded by a gang of
the wobbly non-fishes, who have been beaching
themselves on the sand and just lying there
like lard-filled bin-liners filled with
lard.
Local do-gooding greenies
have teamed up with some fishermen to try
and drag the whales back into the waters
using small boats and big string, but it
looks like the whales have decided to stay
put, by not moving much.
In fact it appears the
rotund brutes are throwing whale tantrums,
trying to protest against this action by
letting off great guttural moans from their
bloody big blow-holes.
We found Hugh Jones, a
toppermost whales expert, who deciphered
these alien low-pitched bewailments for
us.
"Using my clever
decoding machines I've translated from the
Welsh into a language we can understand.
The whales say they've come here for a holiday
and they're sunbathing, and a couple of
deck-chairs and an ice cream wouldn't go
amiss."
Trotter's
"Believe it or DON'T"
Turf 'n' Surf
Whales are voracious breeders, having intercourse
up to 10 times a day. This causes the sea
to clog up with whale baby gravy and makes
tidal waves happen in Hawaii and Yugoslavia.
Bucket and spayed (spade)
Because there are so many whales the World
Wildlife Organisation have put Japan and
Norway in charge of keeping their numbers
down, by killing them with giant crossbows. |
