Ouija BORED.

From Dickensian parlour games, to the latest US teen-goth craze, the act of communicating with our long dead and now rotten relatives up in the spirit world through the dark art of Ouija has been a fun and fulfilling pastime for many a century or two. Until now that is.

For it seems that the departed souls that inhabit the eerie nether worlds have been disappointing Halloweeny seances everywhere, giving us the dead-cold shoulder, and shunning our attempts to talk into their supernatural ears.

Why!??

Top Idiotica spook-snoopers have looked into it and can reveal that poltergeists officially can't be bothered any more. Rather than come and do visitations our ghoulish friends would rather stay at home for a quiet night in limbo.

The big ghostly no-show is having a spectre-acular effect on many a livelihood. Hardest hit are the mediums that make a living out of contacting the dead husbands of stupid old ladies. And Waddingtons, the manufacturers of the board.