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Every sin's gonna be alright.
New evidence suggesting
that the Seven Deadly Sins aren’t deadly
at all but could actually be quite good for you
has been brought to light last Tuesday. Much like
the church lying through it’s Christian teeths
about the Turin Shroud being Jesus’ bed sheet
(complete with pee-pee stains), the Seven Deadly
Sins have been shown to have been made right up
out of thin air (by clergymen with thin hair),
much to the annoyance of duped God-fearing peoples
everywhere.
But people practising the Seven
Deadly Sins (and getting quite good at them) have
proved that if you eat a lot, lie in bed all day,
or cheat at Scrabble there really is no need
to worry about getting smitten from up above
by a bolt of big lightning.
As more and more of the words
in the Bible seem to be just made up by some crackpot
2000 years ago, church-goers all over the place
are working around clocks to find even a single
shred of truth in the Bible to cling onto, with
no success so far.
The world wasn’t made in
seven days, Noah never even had a BMX let alone
an ark and the good Samaritan actually couldn't
give a talent. C of E-ers and Catholics alike
are said to be nervous that they will all be made
redundant from doing God’s work as more and
more bits of the Bible are discovered to be utter
drivel. The Salvation Army are dressing in civilian
clothes, the Pope is said to have started an evening
course in Home Economics and the Archbishop of
Canterbury is scared he might be given a sack.
The actual sins proven to now
be completely harmless are avarice, greed,
lust, evil, envy, sloth, gluttony and jealousy.
This spells out B A D N E
W S for the Bible-bashed but good news for
pornographers, green-eyed husbands and the fat. |
