Cheeses CHRIST!

The Vatican has this week signed a sponsorship deal with Primula cheese, which will next week start using the slogan “Primula – the cheese that spreads like the good word”.

The Catholic church first became interested in all things cheese last week when the Pope was asked to witness some three day old Parmesan that had been left on a church pew in Romania. It was seen to be miraculously “weeping milks” – a bit like a statue of Mary the virgin that once did the same somewhere else. Not sure.

Primula’s PR dept was quick to capitalise on the situation, beating rivals Cathedral City and (holiest of all the cheeses) Emmental to the papal post. Primula sent the Pope a tube of their sticky fermented goo in a jiffy (in the post), which he promptly opened, and spread on a Ryvita.

“Delicious” he said in Italian before falling asleep.

Negotiations have started with Ritz Crackers in earnest in time for the Pope's big cheese and wine party next month.