Cherie sleeping with Tony.   Reporter: By top politico correspond-ent Vangard Roar - he knows what news tastes like. “A bit like chicken,” he says..

Cherie on top.

Cherie Blair was said to be resting her head, body and legs last month after some pregnancies had her taken to a hospital, where she was supposed to have a carriage but missed. Her husband Mr Prime Minister was comforting Mrs Blair, 47, after she failed to deliver their as yet un-named fifth child - like a buck-mouthed, simpering lady Parcelforce.

It is thought by me that the Blairs have made some love in the last nine months, with Cherie "riding her Tony like a cowboy". After copulation Mrs Blair would then have found herself initially tired and then later on pregnant and now subsequently too old to finish what she’d started.

Doctors everywhere say that a lady at the age of 47 has a very real 47% chance of miscarriaging and is unlikely to have a baby due to the oldness of her insides. Insiders say Cherie’s insides are said to be recovering while she is inside playing chequers somewhere in Buckinghamshire.

Mrs Blair (48 soon) admitted she was admitted to hospital after tummy trouble that she initially thought was a bit of bad wine. Apparently she was surprised two years ago when she had a baby then, but called it Leo anyway and got on with things, so this must have come as a right shock to the system, which apparently it was: a right honourable shocked system.

Said a Professor of baby studies at a hospital in Manchester “Many women blame themselves and wonder if they could have done anything differently and the answer is almost always hmm possibly.”

It is thought that top lawyer Mrs Blair believed it to be her constitutional right a have a fifth child and will be complaining to the European Court of Human Rights.

“This is a miscarriage of Justice” she said.