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Poof the magic wonder horse.
Wanda the Wonder Horse
- the world’s first and only equine illusionist
- has been branded a disgrace to the profession
by his prestidigitatory peers and is to be hoofed
out of the magic circle, or so they say.
In an unprecedented four-hour
meeting of the Magic Circle, forty-stone circular
magician Geoffrey Durham was allowed to read aloud
a four-page list of two grievances to the three-legged
animal-turned-magician, which included:
1.
Lying about his
size.
On his Magic Circle application form Wanda had
claimed to be 14 hands – but was later proved
to be only 8 hands, therefore making him not only
technically a pony, but also a bit slight of hand.
2.
Only being able to do ‘find the lady’
routines.
The only illusion Wanda was able to perform involved
hiding a sugar lump under one of his hooves and
making it jump to the other one.
A motion was put forward to
kick the bucktoothed big-cocked beast out of his
horse-shaped chair and as far away as possible
from the magic circle’s big purple table.
The motion was passed, with a majority of ayes
defeating only one neigh, from the lovely Debbie
McGee.
Said Magic Circle head honcho
the Chicken Suprendo: “We’re all very
disappointed that it has had to end this way,
but Wanda is going to have to be sent packing
- back at the glue factory’s gift-wrapping
dept where he used to work.
"We all thought he was
this fantastic big magic horse. But
as it turns out he's just a one-trick
pony,” Mr Suprendo later clarified.
STOP PRESS…
Wanda has since also been accused
of being a bit gay, hence some people are calling
him a “poof” like I did in the headline. |
