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Blunkett flunks it.
David Blunkett, the loony lefty
Home Secretary, left a "Back British Beef
on the Bone" bonanza on his
back yesterday after getting himself all blind-drunk
with some of Stella's Artois, or so we heard.
Eminent emenient guests at last
week's chump charity do were left speechless after
hearing the political top-bod's talk on cow-meats
go down like a brail storm in a teacup.
Drunk Blunkett stumbled into
the dinner late and, swaying around like a bearded
madman, knocking over into guests and chairs the
same. His speech on the state of UK beef was said
to be the worst ever. He minced his words,
made some blindingly obvious mis-steaks,
and burgered about for at least a couple
of hours or three.
He then ignored raised hands
from the floor, threw his notes all over the place
and fell over crying. He was quickly taken away
by red, cross men with long stretchers to a nearby
hospital to have his tummy all pumped out with
sticky stuff.
Blunkett is said to have been
very upset recently after staunch Conservative
puppetteer Bob Carolgees spat at his guide dog,
and Blunkett naturally turned to drink to get
over the ordeal. But toffee-nosed top-notch Tories
are having none of it.
"The stuff he said at that
beef thing was bullshit," they all moaned.
"We want him to take it all back." However
Blunkett, resting in a hospital bed, is refusing
to eat his own words, even after nurses spelt
them out in front of him with brail alphabet soup,
in a bowl.
Sheridan's GRAVY SPUDS:
1) put some spuds in some hot water
2) Boil them up
3) when they is all cooked, don't drain away the
water, add gravy powder to it
4) stir it all round a bit
5) Hey presto, instant gravyfied spuds, hmmm delishious |
