A junky-fiend, pictured here down and quite literally out. Not to mention about. Writer here: Graham Wolf has been out on the streets and has seen the horrors of the horse. Here he has some advice for hungry horsers everywhere this wintertime on how to avoid another animal problem - 'the cold turkey'.

Hot tips for avoiding cold turkey.

As we head into the bleak mid winter we should all spare a thought or three for those members of society more unfortunate than ourselves. YES - I’m talking about the addict of the heroin.

For it’s at this time of year that your local druggie is most likely to find himself in a ‘cold turkey’ situation. As always, Idiotica would like to lend a hand of advice - so here's our shit hot tip tops on how to avoid 'cold turkey’ this cold snapperoo.

1) Having stayed with family or friends over the Christmas period perhaps your warm happy thoughts have turned to guilt and shame because of your drug problem. Don’t try to get off the smack however, it can only lead to cold turkey.

2) Throughout January there may still be some leftovers from the traditional cosy roast meal you enjoyed on Xmas day. Some of this you are able to consume (bubble and squeak, cranberry sauce etc.) but remember whatever you do, don’t eat the cold turkey.

3) Going on holiday this year? There’s probably one country you don’t want to go to until after winter. It’s next to Greece and not very warm at the moment, that’s right: cold Turkey.

So take a word or seventeen of advice. Stay indoors in the warm, save your Christmas bonus and spend it on some good quality smacks. It'll be spring before you know it and you can be back out on the streets again, hunting for coins and watching the people go by as if you didn't exist.