| Forget
me, not. What?
Top dog clever clog brain
buffs have had an initially exciting but
ultimately frustrating week, this week just
now, as a potential solution to the bad
boy brain muck of Alzheimer’s disease
has slipped through their learned long fingers.
Julian Masters (84), an
out of unemployment grandfather from Swindon,
first seemed to have been cured of the nuisance
disease - but was later found only to have
forgotten to keep forgetting and had in
fact been remembering to remember things
following a heavy attack by the old Alzheimer's.
Mr Masters first attracted
the attention of doctors at his nursing
home last Tuesday night when he was spotted
not wandering about in someone else’s
slippers, gently weeping.
Excited by this behavioural
change, the men in white coats monitored
Mr Masters carefully over a 24 hour period
of time during a whole day when he was observed:
1) Opening his mouth before
a forkful of haddock reached it
2) Attempting to locate
a toilet before it was too late and all
wet in his long johns
3) Not laughing joylessly
throughout the evening’s Last of
the Summer Wine screening
Staff were baffled and
called in noted “oldspert” Dr
Duncan Donuts to examine the previously
perplexed poppy-peddlar.
Initially as excited as
his hospital colleagues, Dr Donuts was disappointed
when he looked through a little tube into
the patient's brain - which still showed
the tell-tale patterns of Alzheimer's, all
mottled and grey, like a pigeon's breakfast.
Donuts concluded that
Masters must have become so befuddled after
a furious bridge session the previous evening
that he had simply forgot to forget everything,
hence returning to the state of normal-brainess
usually associated with much younger-headed
men.
"By a simple act
of stupidity," wrote Donuts, "Masters
managed to correctify his broken mind.”
Unfortunately for Mr Masters,
and for the scientific world as a whole,
the relapse was shortlived as the ex-confused
pensioner, in his newly lucid state remembered
to forget and immediately became all wobbly
and rubbish again. |
