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Scooby-DON'T. Dog
homes for stray dogs, like Les Battersby’s
famous dogs’ home “Battersby’s
Dogs’ Home” are being eaten out of house
and home by the high number of tall
dogs that have been found wandering about our
nation’s streets.
Sales of the great big Scandinavian-themed
mutt, the Great Dane, have soared in the
UK since the release of the Scooby-Doo movie last
month. But Warner Brothers, the makers of the
"film", have been dogged by complaints
from angry merchandise-mad mothers whose newly-bought
Great Danes have turned out to have no kind of
spooky mystery-solving skills at all.
"Scooby-Doo?"
asked one of the well-meaning mothers. "More
like Scooby-DON'T!" she said to rapturous
applause on TV's Kilroy.
ZOINKS
Told by Warners to “fuck
off” and “grow up”, the pesky parents
have now had to cast the way too big dogs out
on their elevated arses as the only way to silence
the braying of their disappointed, square-eyed,
mobile-phone customising brats - leaving
the streets cluttered with unwanted and unwieldly
hounds.
The angry mothers and Les Battersby
now plan to convene a protest meeting next month,
but despite caterers laying on free “Scooby
Snacks” including sausages, lemonade and
chocolate bananas, as do's go, it’s expected
to be a little scrappy.
GREAT
DANE FACTS!
- Scooby Doo is only the second
greatest Great Dane in the world, after Dane
Bowers
- Great Danes are regularly
celebrated in song with the pantomime classic
"There is nothing like a Dane"
- Great Danes come in five
great colours: Fawn, Brindle, Harlequin, Dog
and Aqua Marine
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