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| Hello, yes and welcome to the
Idiotica Guide to Drinks and Drinkings. |
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| By Idiotica's reseident
drug problem, Jonny Moment |
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Drinks come in all shapes
and sizes, depending on what you put them in.
A drink is a liquid, we all know that, that's
a given, sort of, but not all liquids are a drink,
not at all, not all of them, no. They're just
not.
Drinks can be all different
when they want to be: wet, not dry, hot, cold
or even warm like a luke. A liquid becomes a drink
after it has been drunk by a man, lady, cat, cup
or glasses. For a liquid to be drunk it must pass
across the lips and down the throat of the drinker,
if it isn't swallowed it is just mouthwash (or
spunk - up to her) or tasty wine - and these things
is not drink, not in this book.
Everyone drinks drinks, and
those who don't drink anything are liars and shouldn't
be listened to. But what is drunk by drinkers?
You might well ask; well water for starters (or
even as a main course) though not well-water,
though that can be drinked, but it is usually
dirty and will need washing, but what in, clean
water? Yes. And soapy suds.
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| WATER, the most
popular drink in the world is what is needed
by everyone and thing to stay best and on
this side of alive, and if you didn't you
would be a killed man and dead too.
So where do you find them, these waters?
The sea? Not so, not drinking-wise
anyways. Even though there's loads of water
in the sea (it’s what fills it up
to the brim of its wet hat) you can't drink
that because it's full of some salt put
in it, by someone, or God. Nor can you drink
from a river water, it's full of shit and
fishes; or even a swimming pool, it's full
of kids and pisses.
Where you must drink water is where it
comes from properly, which is a tap. Not
a tap on the head though, a tap in a houses
on sinks. Stick a cup underneath it, turn
the top bit round and round and hey-frigging-pesto,
water, ready to be drunk by you and your
friends. |
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| BUT water, which tastes
see-through, is a bit boring to drink all the
time so a man has invented nicer flavoured drinks
to help it all go down a bit better. Tea, coffee,
gin and tonic are all drinks that people have
drunk.
And that's is what we are concerning ourselves
with on here, drinks, all of them, and what's
in them. The drinks in kettles, the drinks that
make you drunk, the drinks that comes from fridges
and the drinks that can also be the foods. What?!!
Yes that's right, read and learn as we take
a journey on a boat on the river of drinks.
Climb aboard, put on a yellow life jacket and
listen up with your ears on loud. |
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