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Please don’t
clean my birds.
Mud helps them fly. Cats clean themselves and
that’s why they are stuck on the ground.
Which is why in turn they hate birds. Plus the
smell of detergent scares off worms.
DON’T DO IT. |
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FACT:
My favourite bird EVER is the bittern. I saw my
biggest one EVER the other day but accidentally
sat on my ghetto blaster and scared it off ghetto-blasting
out Erotic City by Prince. Damn and ghetto blast
it! Will I EVER learn?
FACT:
Yes that’s right: Bill Oddie is a HUGE Prince
fan, but I can’t listen to ‘When Doves
Cry’ because it upsets me too deeply to think
about all the horrid copycat activities among Prince
fans. What has His Purpleness got against doves?
Please, please, please I beg you do not
try to make a dove cry. EVER. |