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............................Oddie's Jobbies!..............................
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If I am honest, Bill Oddie is looking for work. Old man Oddie is looking for odd jobs. Yes! Birdman Bill is after any old jobs, they don’t have to be odd. Or even old. That's right! I’ll do anything. Please? Look, here is my CV:
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Self-starter with own ladder and huge collection of binoculars.
Works well independently or as part of a team of feathered friends.
....................................................................................................................

My skills include:

  • Surveillance
  • Stakeouts
  • Hiding
  • Camouflage

I have experience of:

  • Voiceovers
  • Pullovers
  • Cold turkey (never again!)

Education:
Institution Results
St Pubert’s School for Growing Boys Expelled for killing the headmaster’s cat (Stuart) by hiding Alker Seltzer in its food (cats can’t burp). I had caught it looking at my tits in a funny way.
University of Cambridge Excluded for jumping off the top of the clock tower to test homemade wings (made from non-feather pillows – they didn’t work but at least it was a soft – and ethical – landing).

Career:

Comedy:

  • After Uni, embarked on a career in comedy – my third love after birds and H.
  • Ejected from Beak Street’s Cairo Jacks bar in 1968 for my involvement in Mr Dorian Flenk’s illegal ‘Gollywog Song’.

Acting:

  • Spastic Messiah – third sheep
  • Roar of the Greasepaint, Smell of the Crowd – Arthur
  • The Goonies – Short Man (uncredited)

Voiceovers:

  • Kit-e-Kat commercial [Please note: I have parted company with my agent since this and am not available for any further cat-related voice work. In my love for chocolate I misheard it as ‘KitKat’. Bill Oddie does not endorse cats, nor the feeding of cats – unless it’s feeding them to the lions – but does endorse the feeding of himself with KitKats - among other little treats!! - but not Lion bars]

I have also appeared on the Television.

Hobbies:

I enjoy films, reading, eating, cinema, food, restaurants and the theatre. I relax by talking heroin.

Referees:

Sir Harry Secombe. (Addendum: They Secombe here, they Secombe there but sadly he's dead, they should stop. Please now contact Spike Milligan instead).

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Disclaimer: This unofficial site has nothing to do with Bill Oddie who, to the best of Idiotica's knowledge, doesn't actually relax by taking heroin.
 
 
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